MARIO’S FIRST LOVE  : Kenji Tomochika

I was new at school and a little lost until a brown-eyed stranger welcomed me warmly and took me under his wing.  I was grateful, intrigued, but it was underwater where I felt my first stirring.  He and I were on the same swim team, and  we spent time together after school at practice.  I tried to hide my excitement, control it, but I couldn't stay away.  He was an athlete, he was open and mysterious, and those eyes and that gentle, shy grin... Conversation came easily, and I couldn’t wait to see him again.  We’d eat at Wild-Duck Burger and I’d work on my courage or I’d take him to the Sweet Shop.  At first I thought of us as best friends, maybe something more, but I couldn’t tell him or myself.  Then Kenji started acting weird.  He was depressed, withdrawn, not himself;  he wanted to talk about something but couldn’t, neither could I.  I thought I understood; Kenji was an intimidated by me, afraid of his own desire, closeted.   I thought perhaps Kenji was attracted to me as I was to him, but what if I was wrong?  What if I made the move on Kenji, trying to get him to accept his sexuality, but  he turned out to be straight?  Could I sacrifice the intimacy of our friendship for a chance at real romance? 

 “Tell him!” I thought, “No, let him tell you.  Look for more clues.”  Kenji came clean and admitted that he was into older women,  a member of the high school’s faculty, but the situation was not working out. I listened patiently, hurt, relieved, confused.  I walked away with a broken heart, a deep friendship, and a secret.